As I mentioned on Facebook and Twitter, my verse for 2014 is Psalm 56:13. My verse for 2013 was Psalm 86:11, "Teach me Your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to Your truth! Grant me purity of heart, so that I may honor You." As I look back over the year, He did exactly that. He chastised me when I needed it, and over the past several months, He brought me closer to Him more than I've ever been. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have a purpose. I can see what He wants me to do with my life. But He had to break me to do it. Why do we think we can live our lives on our own? Why do we think God is just an option, something we can use when we are in desperate need? He is the source of life. He created us to have a relationship with Him; we'll never feel fulfilled without Him.
I've been saved since I was 5 years old. I grew up going to church, so God was not a foreign concept to me. I could tell you every story in the Bible, front to back. I knew Scriptures. I considered myself a good kid because I went to church and even used a Christian curriculum at home. Oh, I tried to follow God. I really did. But I'd get close and then get pulled away by something else. But I considered myself good because I didn't drink, cuss, smoke, do drugs, etc etc. I didn't do any of the really bad stuff. Through the years of being on the same rollercoaster, I was slowly going farther and farther away from Him. So He did what He always does, He took away my distractions. He broke my stone-coldness and started warming my heart with His love. This last semester of college was my biggest spiritual growth period. Finally, I started yearning and hungering to read the Word. I read through Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, 1 & 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians- I was reading more than I'd done in years. Then, a knew feeling came to me, something that I'd never felt before- I wanted to go into ministry. I wanted to use what I'd learn to teach others and point them to Christ. I am sadly disappointed by churches in America. They preach one way but act completely different. Everything Christianity stands for is being torn down because Christians no longer act like "little Christs" but like the world. Christians no longer stand for the truth but are calloused of things in the world. We're not going to change the world with judgment and condemning; we're going to change by loving others and following Christ's example. I have a passion in my life to bring revival in America. I want to make an impact in this world and nation like George Whitfield and Jonathan Edwards. I don't know how God is going to use me. But I'm hoping this blog is a start. I'm hoping one day this blog will impact hundreds.
God's love amazes me. How can He love me so much? Why would an Almighty God send His only Son to take on all of the sins of the world and die to save us? We don't deserve it. No matter how "good" you are, we don't deserve God's free gift. Psalm 56:13 is a reminder to me of what God has brought me through and that it is only by Him that I live. I don't want to forget last year. I don't want to forget anything of my life. He used it all to mold me a certain way. He made me special, unique, so that I could make an impact in someone's life with His love. "And yet, O Lord, You are our Father. We are the clay, and You are the potter. We all are formed by Your hand." (Isaiah 64:8) Being molded and shaped isn't easy. Sometimes it hurts, but I'm thankful. I can be a light for Him now. "You are the light of the world- like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise Your heavenly Father." (Matthew 5:14-16) I want others to see Christ in me, not for my glory but for His. It reminds me of part of a song- a song which happens to be my song for 2014:
"Give me one pure and holy passion,
Give me one magnificent obsession,
Give me one glorious ambition for my life-
To know and follow hard after You.
To know and follow hard after You,
To live as Your disciple in the truth.
This world is empty, pale, and poor,
Compared to knowing You, my Lord;
Lead me on, and I will run after You."
(One Pure and Holy Passion)
It's not going to be easy. Satan is going to throw everything he can my way. But I hope that I can be like the Apostle Paul and run the race with everything I have. I hope that when I get to the end God will say to me, "Well done, my Good and Faithful Servant!" Wouldn't that be so amazing to hear that after everything you've done in your life? Who's with me?!
Psalm 56:13, "For You have rescued me from death; You have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in Your presence, O God, in Your life-giving light."
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